March 15th, 2007

Current Music: The Beatles-While my Guitar Gently weeps Current Location: Wellington,New Zealand Time: 05:26 pm Current Mood: pensive

Bitches... Oh..you have no clue that one day I'm going to get my cake and eat it too...haha I wish I was a Merrillville...At least there I was looked at. The boys were hotttt.. Damn you... I got into My new Top Choices: Western Michigan University and Ball State My parents want me to reapply to IU...I don't want to. Why? I honestly don't know...

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February 6th, 2007

Current Music: Gnarles Barkley- Smiley Faces Current Location: Montreal,Canada Subject: 2 hour delay Time: 07:50 am Current Mood: crazy

I am in the Twilight Zone

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January 17th, 2007

Current Music: Leave me here - Hem Current Location: Lyon, France Time: 05:18 pm

Why am I so afraid of love? It could be because of my past, or soemthing else...I don't know. The Minute someone gets to close to me I push them away. I hate Lunch .. for a few reasons... Fuck.. Yeah..got some good news.. I found out that there is no reason why I shouldn't get into Western or Kent...yeah...I was excited but no longer.. People just tend to kill whatever happiness I ever have. I guess somepeople just like to see me depressed. I hate you.

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January 7th, 2007

Current Music: Pictures of You- The Cure Current Location: Melbourne,Australia Time: 12:30 pm

This is the DL..ahha J/K ...ahha These are my hopeful options as of January 19 or 16th Western Michigan University Kent State University Arizona State University Indiana State University Ball State University PNC IUN In that order..of where I want to go to school..hopefully.. The last two are just kinda there cause i don't want to go there but it is possible i'm going to have to go there...but aaaaaahhhhhh CATCH-22 You see if I do go to the one of the last two first than I cannot go to any of the first three..because of scholarships...yeah...it's a bastard isn't it... But I really like the First 2...fuck! Lets hope I do good on my finals. Oh yeah...My grandfather doesn't want to meet me...thanks. I hope this year goes better...for My Parents sake.

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January 5th, 2007

Tags: cice Current Music: Shuffle Current Location: Ciaro,Egypt Time: 06:13 pm Current Mood: creative

1. Put your music player on shuffle. 2. Press forward for each question. 3. Use the song title as the answer to the question. What does next year have in store for me? Hero-Enrique Iglesias What does your love life look like? Frequency-Feeder What do I say when life gets hard? Not Fair-Kate Havnevik What do I think of when I get up in the morning? Popstars-Rooney What song will I dance to at my wedding? Walking with a Ghost- Tegan and Sara What do you want as a career? America-Simon and Garfunkel Your favorite saying? One Word-Kelly Osbourne Favorite place? 99 Luftballons- Nena What do you think of your parents? What it feels like for a Girl-Madonna Where would you go on a first date? Dirty Little Secret-The All-American Rejects Drug of choice? Precious -Depeche Mode Describe yourself: Outside- Staind What is the thing I like doing most? In the summertime- Mungo Jerry The song that best describes the president? Porcelain- Moby What is my state of mind like at the moment? One more Time-Daft Punk How will I die? Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond The song that will be played at your funeral? Raindrops keep falling- Burt Bacharach The song you'll put as the subject? Dice-Finley Quaye

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December 28th, 2006

Current Location: Seoul, South Korea Subject: Fun Holiday Time: 01:03 am

Au Contre My Mom was in the attic and well.. next thing we knew we saw her feet sticking out through the Ceiling...yes that is right she fell through the Ceiling...uhh...it was hillarious I had a dream I got excepted...Alot of my dreams come true...but this one won't It was a pretty good Christmas.. get everything I asked for. I really need to write back to my French Penpal Shit.. I really wished I got your number. I wish I didn't live hear, I wihs I had the money to go visit my family. I wish there were not so expensive New York School that were actually good.. I wish

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December 21st, 2006

Current Location: Marseille, France Subject: Goodies Time: 02:47 am Current Mood: numb

My bird died today, it was Keifer. This is the 3rd in 4 months... I'm so lost I don't even know where to start... Now I'm in a waiting game...wait to hear from that one college and than start applying to others.. Box 4 and 6 are very true... I don't know. Very disappointed... This Vacation is going to suck so bad...most of the time I will be Reading and doing Homework...Whoopty Do... And is it just me or does it not feel like it's going to be Christmas in a few days?

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October 11th, 2006

Current Music: John Lennon-Instant Karma Current Location: Hong Kong Subject: 21 Days Time: 03:03 am Current Mood: hopeful

21 Days 20 days 19 days 18 days... days... SAT's Saturday..very excited... Still haven't turned in Applications Thanks for telling me the bad news.. I can do this. You really have changed, I just wish you would have told me. Yes, I do get lonely.Is that what you want to know? I Wish I could see you one last time, and for me not looking like a freak everytime I see you,I actually do look good, but you never see it.. "Imagine all the people"

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September 28th, 2006

Current Music: John Ralston Current Location: Rome,Italy Subject: Say Goodbye Time: 09:22 pm Current Mood: disappointed

The time has come.... I have to go to the Principal's to go change my locker...but i really don't want to, but I'm not getting to any of my classes on time, I think I'm going to tell him that i'll try a different method to try to gte to class on time.....shit.. I got my Hair cut..this is like the first time since NY that i've had bangs.. which is a very long time Had to go to the Counsuler's to do some stuff for this guy at IU, It benifits me so.. yeah but i went up there and My f-ing Counsuler wasn't even there..What the fuck is up with that?.. i waited for a half an hour and than i just left...Unacceptable! I hate Guys Bagels tommorow!! I think I'm going to a apply to the Following places.... IU OSU MSU UK ISU Most of them are out of state cause I'm not going to be living in this state for much longer so..if i get Excepted to IU that's good cause i'm still a resident...But I'm too afraid to send in my applications ...That's how afraid I am of rejection....I'm so scared and i have a right to be cause everytime I do Something out of the Norm I get rejected...so ya know after awhile it's like why even take the risk. I want no one to know that I left...One day you'll think of me and ask what happned and you'll find out I'm miles away...that will be my final,Fuck you! "Gone,Gone,Gone"

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September 9th, 2006

Current Music: James Blunt-Tears and Rain Current Location: Lisbon, Portugal Time: 07:37 pm Current Mood: drained

Why everytime I have fun,you have to stop it? My bird died yesterday,Alouttee,....I'm still upset about it...and people just don't know why... All I wish I could do is tell you, YOU are an Ass...i will never EVER like you again... People are asses... The more I fall for you the more i know i will get hurt. I am alone. "So let go and move on We're strangers, we're not friends I hate this and I hate them"

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September 3rd, 2006

Current Music: The Cardigans-Love Fool Current Location: Melksham,England Subject: Call on me Time: 08:25 pm Current Mood: mischievous

I'm so scared about what you'll say that i don't even want to tell you... Uhhh... I hope my plan works...nothing ever works out for me...nothing..maybe like one thing...maybe?? 2 papers in 2 weeks 4 books to read 344 pages to read since school started.. With papers to write about the pages read.. I think i took on too much..but i hope it pays off... I need a Job...AND A MOTHER FUCKING CAR!! Way to be selfish...no you can't have the car cause I need to to do nothing!! I think one of my birds are sick....and of course it's my favorite... I wish sometimes I could have my way with you when I see you... I'M THE LEADER OF STAND!!!!!!OMG...i'm very proud of myself thank you very much... My heart makes a wish for a dream.... "Dreams are a wish the Heart makes"-Disney

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August 27th, 2006

Current Music: Goapele-Closer Current Location: Lima, Peru Subject: I've seen better days... Time: 01:32 pm Current Mood: aggravated

My Life is falling apart right in front of me and all i can do is sit and say nothing... I relized something..And i know people will be mad at me cause that's what people do but oh well. So i relized that people walk all over me.I mean they use me and than when they get what they want they just don't talk to me anymore..I will walk down the hall and i will always have someone say Hi to me ..but if it was my own 'friends' they wouldn't cause I don't think that my 'friends' are actually my friends...I fucking feel like everyone feels that they are better than me or something, I mean Fucking christ almighty...Not a damn thing in my life ever goes right.. I just wish it would end sometimes..not like kill myself or something...just I wish I could get away...Love.. Fuck Love...Fuck love..that's all that I can say..And No one fucking respects me...NOT ONE FUCKING PERSON !!!!stop ...yes STOP, NO means NO ...ahha sorry is not fucking good enough..'haha alex your so stupid'No you are fucking stupid you ass...and i know i'm going to get shit for this but when is it ever enough and when can i ever tell the truth with out people getting mad at me like it's my fault.. I miss going to barnes and Noble and sitting and reading magazines..I miss just sitting and doing nothing..i miss ... I'm scared of the world and my life.. "I"m getting closer to my dream"

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August 21st, 2006

Current Music: Cary Brothers-Ride Current Location: Athens Subject: It's been a long time Time: 09:08 am Current Mood: mellow

Since I've had that much fun.. I mean I have fun with other people but it was just a very interesting night...I would do it over again 10 times except for me almost getting in a crash...but oh well.. Why do people who are not from the U.S hate us so much..I mean i understand the obvious but...seriously they think that every person in the U.S voted for Good old Dubya...but not really.. they think everyone loves him in this country but it's not true...I just people who don't live here would understand that... I'm scared of another terrorist attack ..And I think it’s not IF it’s going to happen again it’s WHEN. I talk to my mom about this stuff.. and I’m scared if I ever had children(not that I want to have Children) that they would be in this world of terrorist attacks.. And it just scares me.. Anyone with 8th lunch besides the lovely people I know have it… This is the last week… “If I told you ,you were right Would you take my hand tonight?”

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August 8th, 2006

Current Music: Vera Lynn-We'll meet again Current Location: My lovely room Time: 04:43 pm Current Mood: mellow

Yesterday I went to registration.. and when I left wanted to kill someone...That's what Valpo will do to you... I'm in the purple hallway..it's in the science hallway...yeah it's pretty good so no problem here.. I have to drop a class or two but it will work out and hopefully it will fall in line with my plans..haha ...yes..maybe something will finally work out for me.. My new dog got in a fight with one of my big dogs, Ashford..the new dog lost .. and well he has staples now... Is it werid that I covered my birds cage when I was changing.. I mean.. the damn things were staring at me.. I love French and if I work really hard I can be fluent...and that makes me very happy to think can talk a different language noone knows...well maybe some people will but not many... Bob Dylan is Jewish...hheheh... I think it's time for me to be happy.. "You're too young for me, but I can keep a secret"

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August 5th, 2006

Current Music: Mylene Farmer-Le Mots Current Location: My Bedroom Subject: When i think i can stop, i never do.. Time: 02:39 pm Current Mood: contemplative

Since I never write in this thing anymore I feel like being different and well writing in it....sooo... Well we are now up to 13 pets...and I love all of them! I'm 16...and I like a guy who is 15.. 1 year younger than me... Why do I feel like a pedifile? So I'm done letting everyone walk all over me.. I just don't give a damn what you want, this is what i'm going to do and I could care less what you think! I would miss my friends but I never feel better than when I'm away from here. I do wish I could leave this place and never look back.. because..I've done it before and I can do it again. How can some people find 10 people who are perfect for them and I can't find one. I've been think alot about my senior year... and whether I should be friends again with people who I personally hate...cause yeah know it's the right thing to do.. ya know put it behind you...but FUCK that SHIT!!!! The only reason I'm happy to be a senior is because it's one step closer to gettting out of here. I love Post Secret and one day I will have a card on there...

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May 1st, 2006

Subject: Today .. and the rest of my life Time: 09:56 pm

So I haven't Said anything in a while oh well i don't care... Well ya i don't think that i'm going to VHs next year... or at least i haop i don't have to...I will work my ass off and I'll pay for it but i won't be here.. and that's all that matters I've met some Awesome people this last year and som eof them in this last semester.. and i honestly don't know how i'm going to live with out these people i love tham dearly.. Ya so It's bad.. really bad... I might just get out of this State 2 times this year! yeah and not to chicago... SAT on Saturday .. WEEEE!!! Not really it fucking sucks cuz i can't go to IU But It's alright me and Brandy will go down there.. haha.. I'm happy in the decisions i've made this year...and yes i've screwed up a few times but this is a start to something totally different.. i don't think i'll ever be the same.. .. " For a minute there i lost myself"

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December 27th, 2005

Current Music: Tegan and Sara- No tonight Time: 02:47 pm Current Mood: exhausted

Yupp.. so a couple of things have happened recently... My house caught On fire...so ya...constuction workers and people are always at my house My mom fell down the stairs...she is ok but hurt.. And of Course, christmas... ya..that was interesting... "How wonderful life could be when your in the world."

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November 8th, 2005

Current Music: Keane-Sunshine Time: 06:30 pm Current Mood: confused

Today is my birthday Ya It's been a pretty insane couple of days... I can't believe it migth actually come true... I need to suck it up, and make the First Move! "Can anybody find a home?"

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October 18th, 2005

Current Music: inara George-Fools in Love Time: 07:29 pm Current Mood: cold

Same Shit Different day I'm very excited baout getting my mentee soon! Turing 16 in like a week... I really wish it would end... "Same as you love me, i'll always love you too, this love isn't gonna last"

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September 10th, 2005

Current Music: Nena- 99 Luftballlons Time: 07:28 pm Current Mood: blank

Last night Was great... Well Except for the end It's so great to han gout with all diffrent people Me and That guy actually hit it off...to bad for them being asses! oh well I'm so tired!

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